[en][blog] enby/age

locale/en/blog/enby.md

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+# Does the word “enby” imply young age?
+
+<small>2022-08-06 | [@andrea](/@andrea)</small>
+
+![Screenshot of the poll results mentioned in the post](/img-local/blog/enby-age-poll.png)
+
+There's a bit of a controversy surrounding the word “enby”.
+It comes from the English pronunciation of the letters “n” and “b” (as in “**n**on**b**inary”)
+and was coined as a noun analogous to “girl” and “boy” to describe nonbinary people.
+
+Because of that history, many of us don't like being called “enbies”
+– the same way an adult woman or an adult man might not like being called “girl” or “boy”,
+seeing it as infantalising or [sexist](https://www.reddit.com/r/MenAndFemales/?f=flair_name%3A%22Females+AND+Girls%22). 
+
+I respect their position and partially share their concerns – but please hear me out about the opposite view 😉
+
+Language is a special kind of tool, it only works as a facilitator of communication because we collectively decide what words mean.
+Language belongs to the community of its speakers, it's constantly being shaped by the consensus among its users.
+And “enby” is a very “fresh” word, still taking its shape. Big dictionaries don't list it yet
+(I checked [Oxford](https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/spellcheck/english/?q=enby)
+and [Merriam-Webster](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/enby)).
+[Wiktionary](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/enby) attributes it to a Tumblr user revolutionator in 2013,
+and [Google Trends](https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=all&q=enby) shows it getting popular in the late 2010's.
+Of course even centuries-old words can change their meaning over time –
+but it's also not entirely irrelevant that we're just 9 years away from the word “enby” first appearing in English.
+My point is: just because it first appeared as way of addressing the need to describe a _young_ nonbinary person
+doesn't necessarily mean it couldn't possibly be used to describe _any_ nonbinary person.
+
+Nobody “owns” words, nobody dictates what they mean. Even dictionaries, although commonly considered final arbiters of what words mean,
+actually only aim to describe what the consensus among the speakers already is (or rather _was_, it's not like they're updated real-time).
+The word “enby” can mean whatever we want it to mean!
+
+So… What _do_ we want it to mean? It's hard to know for sure, but here's some indicators, if you're interested:
+
+[GenderCensus asked on their Twitter recently](https://twitter.com/gendercensus/status/1554437753382764544),
+if the word “enby” implies an adult or a kid – and **71% of responders said it has no age connotations**.
+Admittedly, it's a sample of just 403 votes and the margin is way smaller than in questions about similar words (“girl”, “man”, “nonbinary”, …),
+so there's obviously a difference in opinions in the community and we can't treat it as any kind of “final” answer,
+but it's still a reasonable conclusion that in general we see “enby” as having the broader meaning.
+
+I thought that we would be able to compare it with the data from our cards,
+but unfortunately it looks like we had forgotten to include the word “enby” in the list of our “default” words 🤦
+One can add and remove any gender-related words from their profile, but initially they see a list of proposals of what could be put there.
+And until last weekend “enby” was not on the list – which means we only have data from people
+who, seeing tens of proposals, had realised that “enby” is not among them and added it themselves.
+But I wrote a simple script to analyse that field anyway.
+Out of half a million English cards, indeed only a handful contains the word “enby”:
+overall, 59% of that group wants to be called “enby” (2922 vs. 2026);
+among teens it's 58.5% (1325 vs. 940); and among people 20+ year olds – it's 55.5% (394 vs. 316)
+(teens + 20+s ≠ overall, because not everyone has put age in their profile).
+It's asking a different question than the GenderCensus's poll
+(“does this word imply age?” vs. “do you want to be called that word? and btw, what's your age?”),
+but it's still interesting data:
+**teenage nonbinary people use “enby” for themselves slightly more often than older ones: 58.% vs. 55.5%**.
+
+Similarly, in our [annual survey of Polish nonbinary language](https://zaimki.pl/spis)
+we're asking about labels used, including English ones.
+In 2022, 820 out of 1816 respondents (45.2%) selected “enby” as a label they use;
+in the 20+ age group this number was 406 out of 844 respondents (48.1%).
+So, **among Polish-speaking enbies one seems to be actually a bit _more_ likely to call oneself “enby” with age.**
+
+[Wiktionary](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/enby) already defines this word without mentioning age (although acknowledging its etymology):
+
+> enby (plural enbies)  
+> Noun, (neologism, informal)  
+> A person whose gender identity is not strictly male or female; outside of the gender binary.
+
+But… does it even matter? Do we actually _need_ “enby” to have a broader meaning, one that doesn't imply any specific age?
+I'd argue that we do. “Nonbinary” is an adjective, not a noun, so the nonbinary equivalent of “woman”/“man” is… “a nonbinary person”.
+What a mouthful! It's not practical. It's not elegant. “Enby”, on the other hand? 😍
+
+In my humble opinion, “enby” is a beautiful word; and it describes me well, even though I'm almost 30.
+Others don't like to be called “an enby”, be it because of the implied age or for whatever other reason –
+and let's, of course, respect their choice.
+But when talking about nonbinary people collectively or in general –
+let's remember that it's not set in stone, “enby” isn't somehow inherently and immutably connected to age 😉