[en][blog] pyramid scheme

locale/en/blog/pyramid-scheme.md

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+# Gender binary is a pyramid scheme. Gender liberation helps everyone, cis people included.
+
+<small>2022-11-03 | [@andrea](/@andrea)</small>
+
+<img src="/img-local/blog/alpha-males.png" class="d-none" alt="Screenshot of a tweet quoted below. A meme with a muscular doge labeled “Trans Guys – I am a man, in spite of a society that insisted otherwise from birth” and a sad doge labeled “Alpha Males – To be a man, I have to do arbitrary performative nonsense perfectly or my card will be revoked!”"/>
+
+{disable_twemoji}
+
+<div class="alert alert-warning"><span class="fal fa-exclamation-triangle"></span> CW: homophobic slur</div>
+
+At a recent meeting of the International Nonbinary Network Felix from [SIB](https://www.facebook.com/SverigesIckebinara)
+said a sentence that really stuck with me. Paraphrasing:
+
+> Gender binary is a pyramid scheme — if you don't recruit a bunch of people and police their behaviour, the whole system will collapse.
+
+{twemoji}
+
+Back when I thought I was a man, I kept finding “being a man” to be quite exhausting.
+Your voice can't be too high. You can't shave your armpits, that's for girls.
+Your football skills must be at least adequate. And you have to _enjoy_ playing it.
+You can't paint your nails, what are you, a fag? You have to be strong and brave… you chicken!
+That's not manly! Men don't cry! … Oh, just shut up! 🤮
+
+{/twemoji}
+
+And that's how I felt being on the _privileged_ side of the patriarchy!
+If I had been <abbr title="assigned female at birth">AFAB</abbr>,
+I'd definitely have had even worse time trying to uphold gender norms.
+
+The society polices them constantly. If you don't look or behave 100% like a Real Man™ or a Real Woman™,
+if your face or voice or shoes or clothes or makeup or relationship or ringtone or brand of shaving cream or mannerism or whatever else
+doesn't match someone else's idea of what a Real Man™ or a Real Woman™ is or does,
+you can be mocked, called slurs, you can lose friends…
+Doubting or diminishing someone's masculinity or femininity is a common way to insult people.
+Totally straight guys get called homophobic slurs all the time – because of the common understanding
+that being a “fag” is not what Real Men™ do, so that's an easy way to go after someone's masculinity.
+Pop culture promotes unreasonable beauty standards and many cis people spend huge amounts of money
+on gender affirming surgeries trying to reach them (they just don't call it that).
+
+<blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Elon Musk has had more gender affirming surgeries than most trans people. <br><br>I’m not trying to upset the fanboys, just simply exercising my freedom of speech. So glad that I can state my opinions without having to worry about triggered snowflakes. <a href="https://t.co/s9PFudjG6T">pic.twitter.com/s9PFudjG6T</a></p>&mdash; kaceytron (@kaceytron) <a href="https://twitter.com/kaceytron/status/1587454693709602816?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 1, 2022</a></blockquote>
+
+Having to _perform gender_ in order to please other people is just dreadful.
+And that's why I love inclusive queer spaces so much!
+If you come in and say “Hi, I'm Mike, I'm a man” – no one will doubt that you're a man. Simple as that.
+You don't need a beard to be a man, you don't need a penis, nor a deep voice, nor any specific passions or interests.
+You don't need to love sports, or know how to shoot a gun, or whatever else people might expect from men.
+Just say who you are, and we'll believe you. We'll treat you and your identity with respect.
+
+<blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center"><p lang="zxx" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/cFpQt3YgYY">pic.twitter.com/cFpQt3YgYY</a></p>&mdash; DJ Cthulhuween 🎃🐙🎧 (@RealDJCthulhu) <a href="https://twitter.com/RealDJCthulhu/status/1583439167555768321?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 21, 2022</a></blockquote>
+
+In the pyramid scheme of gender norms, we all lose, we all suffer.
+All it's good for is making some people feel like they're better that others just because they perform their gender “better”.
+
+**This pyramid scheme will fall apart if only we stop recruiting people to it.
+Just stop gatekeeping other people's identity, simple as that.**
+A woman has short hair? Good for her. A boy likes dolls? Sure, why not! An enby doesn't look androgynous? Cool!
+A person uses a label that we don't understand? Well, let's maybe try to understand it – or just leave it and mind our own business.
+Someone's definition of a label doesn't exactly match our definition?
+Well, as long as it makes sense to them, let's just be happy for them that they found a word that they feel best describes them.
+
+Can you imagine, how beautiful the world would be if we just stopped policing other people's gender, if we just kept our noses out of it?
+If TERFs stopped trying to restrict who can be a woman, if truscums stopped trying restrict who can be trans,
+if, I don't know, your basketball buddies stopped making fun of you for liking soap operas?
+
+{twemoji}
+
+Trans people are hit way harder by gender norms, so we're fighting back harder.
+But it's not just our fight. We can _all_ benefit from dismantling that pyramid scheme.
+By simply not contributing to it anymore 😉
+
+{/twemoji}

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